On Comments and Traffic and Other Blogs

OK, I've read quite a few blogs here and there (as well as the ones I read religiously), and I have to say, I find it can be quite daunting for a number of reasons. I think I am slightly in awe of Other People.

Other People seem to write so well, to express themselves so perfectly. I haven't quite mastered the art of being entirely open yet, and admire those who effortlessly seem to throw a few words together and make that jumble of words flow beautifully. They make it seem so easy, while I often struggle to release the thoughts in my head coherently.

Other People are so much funnier, and witty and entertaining! At times, I read back on my own posts and think how boring they must appear in comparison. It can be difficult to be amusing in print. I struggle with that, too. Getting bogged down with choosing the right words, then losing 'the moment', reducing my supposed amusing account into something entirely different. While everyone else is hurling witty anecdote after witty anecdote into cyberspace.

Other People lead such interesting lives. My own life at times seems so dull! What happens here? Not a damn lot actually. Just life in general. Maybe that's just us, or maybe I just don't appreciate my mundane little life enough? Occasionally, I haven't converted an occurrence into a post (even though I wanted to) as I wondered "What will Other People think?".

All this is why it is rewarding to receive comments. I think in some way it gives what I am saying validation. When something makes no sense to me, or I think I am the 'only one', up pops a comment from a person who understands. Because it has happened to them, or because they have the same sense of humour, or just...because. Someone, somewhere out there has taken the time to read what I have to say. Has bothered to spend that extra minute or two to say "Hey, I know how you feel" or "What crap, get over yourself" (actually, I haven't had the second one yet, it's a wonder though - so feel free!).

Traffic, on the other hand, is somewhat meaningless. Sure, I know people have dropped in. But what did they think? Did they agree? Disagree? Think I am a nutter? Fall asleep at their keyboard? Or were they just trying to build up their BE credits? (For what I don't know, haven't figured out what those credits are for yet) Should I even care if anyone reads my blog at all, or if they do, what they think of me? After all, it is MY blog.

The fact is, I do care. I like the communication. The small interactions with others. The feeling that I matter in some tiny way. Feeling like I have a voice. That I may say say something interesting (doesn't happen often, but on occasions I have surprised myself).

Ona global scale, it gives me faith that despite there being so much ugliness and hate in this world, there is hope. That no matter what country we are from, no matter what beliefs and value systems we hold, we can communicate. Understand. Empathise. That comments left on a blog are largely anonymous (as log-in name does not an identity make), matters not. People can, and do, still care.

*Ed: I wrote this on another blog I had, ages ago, and since I just started this one, it still rings true.

Wagging...

Wagging....

Or whatever you call it when you take the day off school for no reason. The husband was away with his son, my sons were at their dads, so I took a day off work so I could remember what it's like to be home alone. I never, ever get any time alone. There's always someone about, wanting something, talking to me when I've only been up for a few minutes (well OK, 2 hours), needing dinner cooked and generally, just being around.

Mind you, I think a large amount of the pressure I put on myself to be "doing stuff" is is coming from guilt somewhere. Guilt if I do nothing. Guilt if I'm setting a bad example by being on the computer all day. Guilt if the house isn't clean enough, guilt if.......God, I'd make a good Catholic, pity I'm not remotely close to being one. Anyway, I'll shelve the guilt theories until I work out where it comes from.

So back to when I dropped out of life for a day.

I wish I could say I did something grand and indulgent. But I didn't. I didn't leave the house. All day. I sat at home, on my own and did nothing.

Awesome.